We all have bad habits we've thought about breaking more than once, right? And yet we keep feeding the bad habits that have become ingrained in us.
As the end of the year approaches, we make “new” resolutions—ones that have been on our list of things to do or change for 2 years or more. February comes, we forget all about them, and go back to the same old bad habits.
We tend to make the same mistakes over and over, but because we aren't aware of it, we keep falling into the same vicious cycle.
5 of the most common things we do—and what you should stop doing right now!
Identify the bad habits that keep you stuck in your ways. It sounds like a tongue twister, but you know what I mean.
Not exercising because you don't have enough time
This is undoubtedly one of the most common situations:
“I ran late,” “I'm tired today,” “I left work late,” and so on.
I'm not saying it's always an excuse. It's true that sometimes our schedules simply don't allow it. However, skipping the activity we're trying to make a habit of 2 or 3 days a week will only make us forget about it.
So, what should you do? Start small. For example, if you can't be bothered to exercise and you've tried several times to make it a habit but always end up giving up, stop doing the same thing.
Instead of planning to spend 2 hours at the gym, go for half an hour. If your schedule doesn't allow it, go for a 15-minute walk, do a 5-minute workout at home, or jump rope.
There's no excuse not to exercise—even walking up and down a flight of stairs is good physical exercise.
So if you can't make it to the gym one day, try a different kind of exercise. And if time is an issue, start small and gradually do more as you get used to it.
Not setting clear, simple goals
Another thing we often do is leave the habit up to fate. By this I mean that we are not clear about our goals, or we know what we want but not how we are going to achieve it.
For example, someone who wants to lose weight might say, “I’ll just eat less,” “I won’t eat so many chips,” or “I’m going to be healthier,” but none of these statements is specific.
These ideas leave a lot open to interpretation: How much is eating less? What does eating fewer chips mean? What does being healthier mean? But most importantly, how am I going to achieve it?
If you’ve already decided to make a change, then set clear goals and objectives, and above all, make sure you can measure them and evaluate your progress. Then make a plan for how you’re going to do it.
For example, in this case, the best thing would be to see a nutritionist and follow a meal plan. Instead of saying, “I’m going to eat healthier,” add these goals to your list: eat one piece of fruit a day, drink 2 liters of water a day, and eat chips only on weekends. Does that make sense? You’ll create a good habit only if you know what you want and how you’re going to achieve it.
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Giving in to laziness and not wanting to do things
I can definitely relate to this one. You’re happily watching a show on Netflix and want to watch one more episode, but it’s time to go to your new class, go for a run, or even brush your teeth to build the habit of doing it 3 times a day.
But you can’t be bothered to get up and think, “It’s okay if I don’t do it today,” or “I’ll do it later.” You’ll probably still feel lazy later and end up not doing it at all.
How can you overcome this? There’s no magic formula. You have to make an effort to push through your laziness for at least those first 3 minutes when you decide to get started. I say 3 minutes because usually laziness sets in just before you begin, but once you’ve started the activity, it disappears.
Here are a few tips to keep from getting lazy:
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- Don’t take a nap if you know it will make you feel lazier instead of rested.
- Don’t start a TV series or film if you’ve found that you’ll feel too lazy to stop watching.
- Stay active. When you start to feel lazy, do something to fight it. Don’t let yourself fall into bad habits.
- Repeat your goals to yourself and remind yourself how you’re going to achieve them.
- Keep track of the days you’ve stuck with it and the benefits you’ve noticed. This will motivate you.
- Listen to music that motivates you before doing your activity.
- If you want to and can, work on this new habit together with someone else. For example, encourage your partner to exercise with you, your mom to eat more healthily, or a friend to start using a new face mask. Having someone by our side as we work toward a new goal makes us feel more motivated to stick with it and, above all, supported.
We all know ourselves and the times of day when we feel laziest, and why. So if you’ve already identified those times, simply stop feeding that laziness.
Not doing something because other people don’t like it
We often let ourselves be influenced by what our friends, family, or coworkers or classmates think or tell us.
If we’ve decided to stop drinking alcohol, our friends might think, “How boring,” or tell us, “Don’t be such a killjoy,” “It’s only one beer,” or “Come on, it’s no big deal.” If we decide to lose weight, they might say, “It’s only one slice,” or “One day won’t make a difference.” This is very annoying and, unfortunately, very common.
What should I do? First, being clear about your goals and how you’re going to achieve them will make things easier, because you’ll already know what you need to do.
Second, work on your self-esteem.
If you don’t love and value yourself, you’ll easily give in to other people’s influence.
Sometimes our friends say these things as a “joke” or don’t realise that they annoy us or make us feel sad. If they really are friends who care about you, they’ll understand if you say, “I know it’s a joke, but I’m tired of hearing the same thing all the time,” “I’m making a real effort to build this habit, and I’d like to feel more supported by you,” or “I don’t like being called ridiculous or boring. I’m worth more than this bad habit I’m trying to break.” The important thing is to be honest with them.
Don’t let an exception become a routine
This is another very common one: “I have a party today,” “I got home really late today,” “The movie I want to see is coming out today,” “Today is 14 February,” “It’s Christmas today,” or “My dog farted today.”
There will always be exceptions because there will always be a friend inviting us out, our partner wanting to do something, or a movie showing at the cinema. Believe me, there will always be an “exception” to avoid doing the activity.
To be clear, I’m not saying you have to stop doing all of these things, right? I mean, don’t stop making time and space for them or treating them as important. If the movies are from 7 to 9, do your activity at 6. 5 minutes is enough if you don’t have much time.
Set a time when you’re less busy and stick to it. We tend not to give it enough importance, and that’s the problem.
We never make plans for the same time we’re working or in class, do we? Why? Because that time is already set aside for those things, and we can’t simply skip them just because we feel like it—we have an obligation to meet. Since our habit is a choice, though, it becomes secondary. So people think it’s silly when we say, “Can’t we do it later? I go to the gym or go for a walk at that time.” They make fun of us.
So set a schedule and treat it as something you’re required to stick to. If other people don’t care about it, don’t let that make you stop caring. And if they value you, they’ll care about what matters to you.
I hope these tips help you start letting go of whatever is keeping you from reaching your goals.
