The term infidelity is most commonly associated with romantic relationships. It refers to someone in a relationship becoming physically and/or emotionally involved with someone else.
Infidelity is subjective because it depends on the terms, agreements and beliefs of the people in the relationship. The term refers to breaking agreements, commitments and arrangements established beforehand.
Everyone is different, every relationship has its own agreements, and every person has their own ideals. So what may not count as infidelity to me may count as infidelity to someone else.
That is why it is important to express our views. A common mistake in many relationships is never having discussed this.
What happens if you don't discuss it? Your partner may not consider a kiss to be infidelity because, by their definition, sex would have to be involved, while to you a kiss may be unforgivable.
Infidelity is so subjective that some people consider simply thinking about someone else to be cheating. Others place more importance on emotional bonds and affection than on physical contact, even if there is no physical contact at all.
How Can I Avoid Finding Myself in This Situation?
If we could all be 100% sure we had the formula for avoiding this situation, we would have put it into practice already. However, there are some guidelines that could help you. You may know them, but choose to ignore them. Why do I say this? Because we tend to fall into the same relationship patterns. That's why some people end up saying, “I'm always cheated on,” when the truth may be that they keep choosing unfaithful partners.
Communication
Communication is always the foundation of any kind of relationship. As I mentioned earlier, talking things through from the start helps you work out whether it's the kind of relationship you want, or whether you're open to adjusting your beliefs, ideas, prejudices and so on. It can feel awkward to bring this up because we assume everyone defines infidelity the same way, but that's not the case. So don't be afraid to discuss it with your partner.
It may sound complicated, but being open to different possibilities can help you avoid this situation. Let your partner know that if they ever feel attracted to, desire or fall in love with someone else, it's something you can talk about. I know that isn't easy to process, but having this conversation can make your relationship stronger, even if you don't believe it.
Signs
As I've said, we tend to repeat harmful patterns. We need to break them, and you can start by paying attention to the signs. These are the signs you notice but try to set aside so you won't have to talk about them. They are the very things warning you that bigger problems may lie ahead.
Knowing When to Say Goodbye
Some people make it clear from the start what they're like: whether they're unfaithful, don't want an exclusive relationship, are polyamorous, and so on. But the other person chooses to ignore it, thinking that once they fall in love, their partner will change. That may not happen. I'm not saying it never does, but living with that hope is a pipe dream. We have to understand that some people are simply that way, and it has nothing to do with us.
Why Does Infidelity Happen?
There are many reasons why someone might be unfaithful. Some of the reasons people cheat include:
Insecurity
People who don't love themselves may constantly seek approval from others, including reassurance that women or men find them attractive or desirable. Having many sexual partners makes them feel better about themselves, attractive and powerful, which can make it difficult to break this pattern.
Relationship Problems
Every relationship has conflicts, from minor to serious. Sometimes these problems may lead one partner to look elsewhere for what is missing in their relationship.
Forcing Monogamy
Some people don't believe in being with just one partner, but they meet someone who does. They force themselves to live a lifestyle they don't believe in simply because they want to stay with the person they love. However, at some point, this is bound to erupt.
And what do you think?
