It’s a situation that can—and often does—happen. How do you deal with your best friend falling in love with you?
Your best friend giving you those little looks. Wow! It’s complicated, no doubt, but it’s also very common. We should be prepared in case you or a friend find yourself in the well-known situation where a best friend sees you romantically, so you’ll know what advice to give.
Friends are very important people in our lives, especially our best friend, and we should keep them close. But what happens when they want to get too close?
How many times have we heard the story, “My best friend fell in love with me,” or, “I’m in love with my best friend!”? It’s nothing unusual. When you have that special friend you share happy, joyful, angry, or sad moments with, it’s common for one of you to get confused about your feelings.
First, I recommend making sure you’re certain about the feelings your friend may have for you. If they want to spend more and more time with you, look for ways to make you laugh, want to be the person you turn to when you have a problem, or you notice that they pay you a lot of attention and look at you constantly, these may be signs that they’re falling in love with you.
Tips for when “my best friend is falling in love with me”
- It’s always best to deal with these kinds of situations in person and have a good conversation. It may feel a little awkward at first, but if your friendship is genuine, you’ll be able to work through it.
- Have the conversation somewhere you both feel comfortable. Make it clear that you don’t want these feelings to get in the way of your friendship, that you’ll still be best friends, and that you’ll continue to trust each other.
- Take the opportunity to tell him how much he means to you and thank him for his friendship. Let him know that having him as a friend is wonderful.
- Be clear about where you stand, and keep using the words “friend” or “best friend.” It may sound repetitive, but the idea will gradually sink in, making the situation easier for him to accept.
- At times like this, use humor to make the conversation lighthearted so it doesn’t feel awkward. Make sarcastic jokes and you’ll find it much easier to get through this moment.
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- After having that conversation with your best friend—which may be a little awkward, but also funny and reassuring—try to put the matter behind you. You may be wondering what I mean by that. Carry on with your day-to-day life as usual, and don’t give each other strange, awkward looks that only make things worse. If you had plans to go to the cinema or out to eat, stick to them. This doesn’t have to affect your relationship since you’ve talked it through and your friendship is much more important.
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What you should never do if your best friend is falling in love with you
- Never get into a relationship out of obligation. Even if rejecting a friend sometimes means distancing yourself from him, and he doesn’t take what you say well, don’t feel guilty about his feelings. Being with someone out of obligation, however, is the worst thing you can do.
You won’t return his feelings, and that will only harm the relationship. If there was any chance of saving your friendship, believe me, you’ll lose it.
- False hopes: Men tend to misinterpret women’s words or actions. A hug or a kiss on the cheek may mean much more to a best friend who’s in love with you.
Make it clear to him that this is simply who you are and that you don’t have to change because of his feelings. Never nod or stay silent if he shows romantic affection, as he may take that as acceptance and you’ll only confuse your friend.
- Don’t blame him for his feelings: Feelings aren’t something we can choose. How many times have we found ourselves attracted to something or someone without knowing why? It’s not as if we planned it, either. Believe me, sometimes feelings work in mysterious ways, so let’s not hold them against him. If we handle them the right way, they’ll pass, and the friendship will remain intact.
- Don’t tell other people: It’s perfectly normal to talk about this situation with a friend, but we should be careful about who we tell and not go around sharing it with everyone. Your best friend, who has fallen for you, will also be in touch with other mutual friends. If they find out, they could turn the situation into a source of teasing and awkward comments that neither of you will appreciate. So keep the conversation between you and that special friend you know won’t gossip about it to others.
Well, I hope these tips for when your best friend falls for you are helpful. Remember to take things calmly and accept them for what they are and who they come from. A good friendship is one of the best things you’ll have in life, and it’s worth protecting.
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